Through the Window Pane

 There's a thin layer of frost between me and the outside world.  And the butterflies in my gut tell me I'm lost.  That the lurching feeling is the only thing that's real.  That when the train stops, I probably won't get off.  Because I'm afraid.  Afraid to take those few steps that truly mean anything.  Afraid of success.  Afraid of failure.  Because where I am right now, it's warm.  So really, I'm afraid of the cold.  Or maybe I'm just afraid of the Pain that holds it back.  Not because it makes my skin crack and bleed.  But because it forces my heart to skip a beat.  And I can't afford that.  Because if it happens too much, my brain won't get enough blood, then my lungs won't get enough oxygen, and I'll forget the important things.  Like how to breath, and how the ocean feels, all the little details about Her, and everything my parents told me was Real.  But, most of all.  I'm afraid that no one else has a heart as big as mine.  Afraid, that I'll never get that kind of love in return.

Coma

The fact is . . . I'm dead.  I don't feel like it, but everyone says I am.  I'm 17 years old, and they say I died in 2012.  It just doesn't add up.  Plus, today is June 6 2020, my birthday.  But the only flames I see are Hell, and I need bigger lungs to blow those out.  While I was distracted with the thought of unending suffering, I heard something rare, yet familiar.  A boy, . . . my brother!  I strain to hear what he's saying.  "Britain, I can see you, you're not dead so don't listen to what everyone else says, I just know it. . ."

1: Is the brother real, or a hallucination?
2: If Britain isn't dead, where is he?
3: How will he get out?

Ashes to Ashes

As I lose focus, I see a beautiful woman in the page.  Mixed, with the words and phrases of age.  Sitting there, Her black and white print staring back at me.  Hoping, she'll wrap me in gentle sorrow.  The closer she gets, the more the ink bleeds into the page, and the more I yearn for the brush of paper on skin.  But touching Hurts too much, and each line just becomes a part of me I wish to forget.  I can't.  These lyrics have already filled me from within.  Swimming through my veins and crawling through my heart.  There, she finds her rest.  Only waking at the moments when I feel at my best.  And causing me torment and anguish when I sleep.  My only comfort is that one day my heart will take it's final beat.  That's when I'll lose my focus again.  I'll no longer have to bear standing on sore feet, and I'll just fall into your rough embrace, a stone smile fixed upon my face.  That's all I ever wanted.  The knowledge of books.  The phrases of time.  The beauty of the Woman in the page.  A love that could've been mine. . .  So I burned the book, and I never looked back.

Joe & Matthias

Prodding, to reopen Time.

They were finding it difficult to crack. . .

Revenge

I grabbed something hot today.
It scalded, seared, . . . Burned.
I tried to let it drop,
but my hands were stuck firm.
That is, until it melted the flesh from my bones.
It struck at the ground with a clang,
like it was angry.
And with it, it took a piece of me
I will never get back.
Next time, I'll be sure to grab the Cold one. 

Purple Tint

I don't know you, but I feel like I do.  Do you mind if I ask you a question?  Could you ever love me?  I mean truly love me?  Because I've been Hurt before and I think it's because I forgot to ask this question.  When I'm sick, could you hold me tight?  When I'm in the dark, could you shed some light?  And when I'm mad at the World, and yelling in frustration, could you forgive me?  Because I'm not perfect, and you look like someone who could keep me sane.  I'm not saying you look like a band-aid or anything.  I'm saying you're beautiful.  Really, it's a compliment.  Which is why I don't know why I feel so confident.  Because right now, I should be stuttering meaningless words out of a mouth that no girl would Remember.  Anyway, enough about me.  Because you have the most beautiful earth-tone Eyes.  And the sexiest skin I've ever had the pleasure of seeing.  (They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, you know).  And don't get me started on that smile, because I could Linger for awhile.  I'm talking about that genuine smile that sends shivers down my spine, yet keeps me warm at the same time.  And your laugh, makes my skin tingle like my body's been asleep for ages.  You make me fly with your movement, your scent, your unearthly graces.  Which makes me wonder if your an angel.  Because I don't know where you came from if it wasn't Heaven.  I could get lost in those dark locks, and never seek a way out.  Because your hair is something I could not live with out.  Like I said, I know you, but I feel like I don't.  You are the kind of girl that would need a life time to figure out.  So lets delve into those veins.  So full of Life, and Passion.  And probably the only blood that could make me love life one second, and hate breathing the next.  And of course the only blood that can make my throat swell shut.  Because when you cut me, I don't just feel it in my heart.  I Feel it in my Bones, and that's hard to Stand.  Watching you give that heart away to some other fool.  You're also the only one who can stitch that cut, and stop the flood.  Because I feel like I know you, but in Reality, I don't.  So I'm asking you, if I could ever be that lucky fool.  If you ever gave me the chance, I wouldn't let you down.  I wouldn't drop your heart, and I'd always be around.  To catch every tear before it hit the ground, and hold every bad thought before it made a sound, just so you wouldn't have to.  Because You look like the kind of person I could do that for.  (Don't get me wrong, it's not because of the thighs, although those are nice).  I don't know . . . maybe it's the Eye's.

Eave's Dropping

I dropped you again Eave, and I'm sorry.  I honestly didn't mean it, please take me back.  I just want you to be happy, and I can't stop thinking about that.  Because ever since you left my grasp, my heart, has turned black.  And saying something won't work, because my mouth won't fit, and I can't even get the Right words out of it.  Since then, the right time has passed and I can't tie it off and reel it in.  No matter how hard I try, I can't get back on track.  So now I just divide my time.  Put it on the paper, and wait for my next line.  Hoping, but not quite praying. That with the right sentence, I might Catch you Eave.  And then we can have it all.  The time.  The world.  That Falling feeling I always seem to give you.  We can take the Lies we've been telling each other, and we can tell them again.  And we'll be, Happy.  That's what love is, Right?  And Eave, are you listening?  Because this is important, and I'm only going to say it once.  Eave, I promise . . . I will never drop you again.